There are some real differences between how I grew up in the 80s and how my kids are experiencing life in 2024. For example, I met people face-to-face and then had conversations with them for hours on the phone, which I could only access in my own home. Mind you, I was cool because I had a phone IN MY ROOM, and it was quirky, with big blue buttons and a customized key tone.
However, it is still pretty prehistoric compared to how my kids communicate with peers nowadays. They have online friends and friends IRL (it’s ok if you don’t know that it means In Real Life; I just found this out), and they talk to them continuously, narrating their lives to each other wherever they go.
Another difference between my teen life and my children’s lives concerns when we learned to drive. I couldn’t wait to get out on the road, signing up for driver’s education classes at fifteen and taking my first solo spin at about sixteen and two days (which was the soonest I could get my hands on that driver’s license).
My own kids have been kind of blase about it, content to have me escort them all around town like lords and ladies, perhaps because it’s illegal to text and drive. It could also be that most of their friends demonstrate a similar indifference.
And it could also have something to do with the fact that I haven’t been the best driving ambassador. I don’t love driving, but I do it because, as a parent, I not only need to get from point A to point B, but to X, Y and Z as well on any given day. I try to stay positive but I am a chatty driver, and the chat usually has a lot to do with how other people are driving (spoiler alert: I don’t give out a lot of compliments).
So, my daughter has recently become aware of the need to drive, and for some strange (!) reason, she asked her dad to teach her. I have to hand it to her, she made the best choice. She needs someone who is patient and positive, which would be the definition of Gilberto if he were in the dictionary.
She feels strongly that the lessons are going very well, and she asked me to go with them one day to see her progress. I noticed Gil’s eyes dart around a little nervously when she asked if she could show me how she’s been doing, which gave me pause. But I didn’t want to undermine her confidence, so I hopped in with them in a show of bravado and solidarity.
Some things I learned about teaching a child to drive:
- There is sudden braking for important reasons, such as a bird 50 feet away or a leaf blowing across the road.
- Every minor obstacle seems like the end of the world to them. She saw a parked car in the distance and it felt like we were avoiding a meteor strike.
- Every parent suddenly owns an imaginary brake pedal that you keep pressing in the hopes that it will somehow save our lives.
- Speed Limit Anxiety: Desperately slow or suddenly fast: there’s no speed that doesn’t give you mini heart attacks.
- Terrifying Confidence: They may start out nervous and hesitant, but soon, they think they’re ready for the Indy 500.
I can’t imagine what my nerves would be like if she decided to learn to drive at fifteen and a half, like I did. I am in awe of the nerves of steel my parents must have had back in 1988, bless them. Eighteen seems to make a lot more sense to me right now. I know she’ll be an excellent driver (one day), but I hope you keep Gilberto and me in your thoughts until that day arrives.
