The other night, while needing a bit of a boost, my wife and I went down a YouTube rabbit hole of L’Oréal commercials aimed at boosting the viewer’s self-esteem.
“Because you’re worth it,” was said over and over again by a glittering array of talented, successful women of all ages – and one man, encouraging other men to think of women as ‘worth it.’
These ads are really well done and hugely insightful. My favorite is Kate Winslet’s, where she strips herself of make-up to share publicly what she really looks like, encouraging others to reveal their actual selves.
Taking in that message just before our move to Vallarta is one of the reasons I rarely attempt to cover my psoriasis patches anymore. It’s part of who I am. Why hide it?
Viola Davis’ ad is focused on standing up for yourself… Owning your right to be seen and respected. Seeing it again that night caused some self-evaluation.
During the 45+ years I was an entertainment professional, despite my almost-secret desire to be “in front,” the bulk of my work was being a musical director for theatre and solo performers.
In theatre, I had no problem or issues changing the key of a song to suit a performer. I could even re-orchestrate it if need be. For soloists, I’d be hired to play for cabaret shows and concerts, often doing arrangements.
For a few years, when there were clubs that did it, I would be hired to play for the NYC cabaret artists who came into town for a weekend. On a couple of joyous occasions, I was hired to produce, arrange & orchestrate recording projects for other artists (all of whom also happened to be close friends).
My experience confirmed that once “the industry” had noticed someone was having success in one area, they wanted them to stay in that particular box.
For example: I did a play with one of the best actors in Seattle, and discovered backstage that he had a magnificent singing voice. I asked why he didn’t do musicals, and he said, “I really prefer doing plays. If I do a musical, the producers will mark me as a Musical
Theatre Actor, and I won’t be taken seriously for the dramatic shows I want to do.” He was not wrong.
Absorbing that brought an insight into why I wasn’t being encouraged (allowed?) to become the solo entertainer I so longed to be or the theatrical composer I longed to be — I’d been branded as The Musical Director, The Arranger, The Accompanist.
I “fixed” other composer’s music. I made other singers look good. (Not that they didn’t look good on their own, but a good accompanist does make a difference).
This next bit is not intended as bragging but as an explanation: in my 30s, a television producer who knew me and believed in me hired me to compose scores for several television shows. I received two Emmy nominations and won one.
But it wasn’t “theatre,” so I was still not considered for some theatrical composing jobs I wanted. I could go out of town and perform as a singer/songwriter with relatively good success; before I left Seattle, I had recorded 9 CDs as a singer/songwriter. But that ultimately was no help in my being allowed to join the list of performers at benefits or local clubs.
My name immediately triggered “the guy at the piano,” not “the guy with the microphone.”
In the two years before we left Greater Seattle (after roughly 40 years working there), I had finally started to gain some recognition as a performer – but I have to say that about 80% of that support came from other performers….not from producers or directors.
I was still held in that tiny, constrictive “supporting-others” box for them. So why am I whining on and on about this now?
When we moved to Vallarta I made a very concerted effort to become known as a solo performer.
For the first year I was here, I focused on only letting my performer side be seen. I would, on occasion, play for friends who would guest in my shows, but only once did I actually accompany another entertainer – my dear friend Kami, who was about to move away, and I wanted to support her and share more music with her before she left, so I accepted her offer.
During those initial years, no one here knew me as an arranger. No one here knew me as a guy who could fix whatever wasn’t working in somebody’s show. There were no limits of my skill set on anyone’s expectations where my keyboard skills were concerned. I enjoyed that for a while.
But I discovered something last weekend while being the musical director/accompanist for my friend Andy’s first one-person cabaret show.
As people chose to compliment me afterwards on my ability to serve as his musical director/pianist (I dislike the term “accompanist,” because, in reality, the pianist does not – or should not – “accompany” a vocalist….both humans should be performing together, in a sort of Vulcan mind-meld, with the piano supporting the vocalist, never taking focus. But that’s a rant for another time), I found myself getting annoyed that they were surprised.
Sorting it through, I WANT people to know that I’m good at supporting other vocalists from the piano. I WANT them to know that if the singer drops a verse or comes in a measure or two late, I will cover that so no one in the audience knows there was a misstep.
I WANT people to know that I can sightread damn near anything as long as it has chord symbols. (I gave up intensely reading “dots” many years ago when I moved to Jazz from Classical). I WANT people to know that even though I don’t sing in all those styles myself, I am as comfortable playing Gilbert & Sullivan and Man of La Mancha as I am playing rock, jazz, or gospel.
I want people to know I don’t use the transpose button on an electric keyboard to play a song using a different key than the one written. I use my brain and play using a different key than the one I’m reading.
I just DON’T WANT them to think those are the only things I can do and expect me to do it all the time. I want to choose when I do it…and with whom.
“Be careful what you wish for – you might get it.” Does that apply here? Maybe. My head keeps spinning back to “Because you’re worth it.”
I AM a good entertainer – a strong jazz vocalist – ALSO, a highly experienced musical director/pianist/songwriter/composer/arranger/ orchestrator/vocal coach.
I am also a really good photographer and have done all the graphic design for all my CDs. And – I’m a decent – if often verbose – writer. I am more than just one thing. WE ARE ALL MORE THAN JUST ONE THING.
I think we would all benefit from spending a bit more effort seeing each other outside the limiting boxes of categorization.
Because – frankly – we are ALL worth it!
