by David Duvall
I was watching an interview with Ryan Reynolds yesterday (I very much enjoy him), and he said, “If you’re listening when you’re making a movie, the movie will talk to you – sometimes YELL at you! – to tell you what it needs. You can have everything mapped out on paper, but you gotta allow space for the movie to tell you what it needs.”
I don’t make movies — well, I was in a short satyrical one that I’m quite proud of — but I find that same principle applies to all art.
With all of the various artistic disciplines I practice, I am, first and foremost, an orchestrator. Started doing that when I was 11. It’s effortless for me. It’s the first place my artistic brain goes — what instruments/voices are needed to tell this story, and what must they do? And that perspective affects everything I do – I think as an orchestrator first. And indeed – if you are listening, an orchestration will absolutely tell you or sometimes yell at you to let you know what it needs.
As a lyricist, the same. As the composer of those lyrics, the same. I do the same when I create the running order for my concerts/revues. As a record producer, the same. As a writer of non-musical pieces, the same. In a different but very clear way: as a vocalist, the same.
I consider myself a jazz singer because I cannot sing a song the same way twice. Good theatre/opera singers strive to recreate performances that are, in essence, a freshly generated version of the performance they’re expected to give or just gave. But I find that very difficult – music changes as our life and emotions change…. So the most honest performance in this hour cannot possibly be exactly the same as one given even a couple of hours earlier because we are (hopefully) not now who we were 2 hours ago.
This August Blue Moon/Mercury Retrograde combo we’re all dealing with right now is definitely making itself known. My emotions are all over the place – communication is challenging and must be closely guarded to avoid problems later – creativity feels like it’s a cord with a short in it…. sometimes fully connected to its source, sometimes “in and out,” sometimes just not connected at all. And all of that completely out of my control.
So listening, as I’m accustomed to, has been an exercise in futility much of the last week or so.
But as I’ve worked…. “reached???”…. to feel the creative connection I’m used to, I’ve been finding a great many “foundations” from months/weeks earlier unstable. Not to avoid taking responsibility for anything, but I’m attributing a lot of this to the cosmic energies currently at play and have chosen to make no adjustments in my plans for the coming weeks until September when, in theory, these energies will return to normal.
As I look around and listen to what’s going on in my world, it strikes me that – like art – my life is requiring me to listen to it for a bit. No other action is needed (apart from the usual household chores and daily upkeep). Just listening.
Observing what colleagues and friends need (from me or not) to survive this time at their best. Observing where I am in the moment, where I am and am not welcome, encouraged, trusted…. Deciding where my current parameters are around these changeable realities – holding to my decision to wait out this cosmic storm before making decisions or taking actions.
The older I get, the truer it becomes that I can control nothing except my reactions to what I cannot control. For accurate reactions, I need to listen carefully to what is being bought to my attention. I need to anchor my trust where it feels safe to place an anchor. I need to be excessively gracious about everything else. It’s OK if this means more rest than usual. It’s OK if all of this “delays” productivity. Things will be completed when they’re completed. Life’s timing is not in my control…..
Listening is not just for the ears. It is also for the eyes, gut, and intuition.
