I ask my kindergarten students’ parents on the Meet the Teacher day at the beginning of the year if they have any hobbies. I ask this question because sometimes parents have a hobby that might somehow relate to a topic we are covering in class, such as baking or yoga. More often than not, though, the parent I’m interviewing gets a sort of vacant look in their eye and says, “Hobbies? Not anymore.”
And yeah, I get it. I almost feel bad for bringing it up, because it reminds parents that their full-time hobby now involves creative sandwich cutting or patient waiting in the school pick-up line. Hobbies seem so extravagant when you are a parent, especially ones that involve any kind of risk, like jumping out of planes, climbing up the side of a mountain, or riding a bike without a helmet. As parents, we can’t imagine those heady days of our twenties when we felt positively immortal, with no one to answer to but fear itself.
Not only do we understand that risky hobbies aren’t a good idea when you’re the one everyone in your family is counting on, but we also know that in order to have hobbies, you need to have a minute to spare. When you are a parent, you are also a master balance artist, managing children with a full-time job and the rest of your home responsibilities. Extra activities like hobbies and sleeping seem pretty frivolous.
But I need to tell you something. I ask parents about their hobbies, not only because it could be useful for our classroom work, but because I want to remind them that hobbies deserve a place in their lives. Hobbies help parents maintain their individuality, improve their stress levels and nurture their passions. Parents with hobbies are good role models for their kids and are better equipped for the challenges of parenting.
Yeah. I know. I sound like I know what I’m talking about, and actually I do know. But did I practice what I preached? Not right away. At first, I poured every ounce of time and attention on my young children. Most of my reading (which was one of my favorite pre-mom hobbies) involved either parenting articles and books or eternal re-readings of Goodnight Moon and Green Eggs and Ham. I indulged in another favorite hobby, watching movies by screening the Shrek movie series, for months on end.
But I began to realize that I was missing some of my special interests, even though it seemed like there was no way I’d have time to ever go back to them, what with two kids who seemed to be hungry about twenty-seven hours a day. And that’s when I decided to merge my parenthood with my personhood. I love baking, so I started baking with my kids. Yes, we broke a lot more eggs, but we always had some really good cookies around. I began teaching them some of my family’s traditional holiday recipes, which became traditional in our own family.
Once my kids were school-aged, I started reading some of my favorite books from childhood, like the Narnia series and Charlotte’s Web. Later on, we’d have theme nights where we’d watch the movies to celebrate the ending of the book series.
Nowadays, my kids and I often talk about what we’re all respectively reading, and we bake our favorite holiday goodies together. We have great memories of the time their dad dressed up like Mr. Tumnus (sort of against his will) on The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe movie night way back when. My hobbies may not be their favorite hobbies, but they did help our family stay close.
So, I’ll always encourage parents of young children to keep their hobbies alive (unless it involves jumping out of a plane). It’s something that our children will always remember, and it makes us all better parents.
