There is a tendency in all relationships to be consistent and correct. You’ll notice that, in public life, if someone is shown to be inconsistent (they felt this way at this time, but now they feel another way), that’s usually a negative mark against them.
It’s as if whatever you said before should be compared to what you’re saying now, and if it turns out that what you’re saying now is different, then that speaks poorly of your character.
But actually, just the opposite is true.
This is a place of learning. And, when you learn new things, your perspective changes and sometimes your beliefs change and your understanding changes. And, you change as a result.
The more you know, and the more you open to what you can know. You’ll see how absurd it is to be consistent over time.
In fact, one of the most joyous things is to find out that you were wrong because many of the things that you find out you are wrong about were judgments and beliefs that separate you from people, that make you feel right and make others wrong.
Think of a person that you feel disconnected from and perhaps even threatened by, and imagine that many of the beliefs that you hold and many of the assertions that you’ve made could be seen from a different perspective, in which case, the old beliefs no longer hold value.
I’m recommending that you welcome the opportunity to find out that you were wrong and let yourself be inconsistent over time because what you’re doing is coming closer and closer to your own truth, to something you can trust.
If you’re in a committed relationship with a partner and there’s some contention, look at the beliefs you have about this other person, what their shortcomings are, what they do that annoys you, where you think they need to improve or change– and imagine that you’re wrong about all of those things.
The way they are in their life right now is absolutely perfect. And it’s absolutely perfect for you to grow, for you to understand yourself better.
The way they are, even if it’s annoying, is a gift to you to help you learn your truth – who you really are that is not dependent on the way they are.
One of your beliefs might be that this partner that you have is affecting you. Their behavior keeps you from being happy and fulfilled. And, if they would only change, things would be so much better for them and for you.
Perhaps this is true, but perhaps it isn’t. Let yourself feel the relief of finding out that you were wrong in your judgments and wrong in your beliefs and you will see the perfection in every obstacle, every annoyance, every belief that you can release.
What you’re left with is love and acceptance and understanding and a deep gratitude for what this person’s anomalies show you about yourself and where you can let go.
You’re not required to stay with them if what they’re doing is unloving and hurtful to you, but there’s a lot more room for love to take place when you let go of the notion that you are right in your diagnosis of them, in your judgment, in your belief that you know better,
Rejoice in changing your mind. Rejoice in expanding who you think this person is and who you think you are beyond the boundary violations and irksome things that you put up with.
There’s something happening on a larger scale. And, if you’ll be open to it your heart will thank you.
It doesn’t mean that everything is everything and nothing really matters. But it does mean that you can make a discernment with your heart that’s quite different from the one your mind would make.
Let that win the day.
See the love in people, despite how convoluted their request for love seems, and watch how your whole world will change.
I love you exactly the way you are and exactly where you are, and I honor your path and your sincere desire to know yourself.
I love you.
– Yeshua and Dr. Jim
