Who Would I Be in the ‘Now?’

I have spent the last week working on the concept of having, or being in a relationship and remaining in the ‘now.’ This is not a simple concept because we depend on our story, what happened in the past, our expectations of the future, where we are from, our family background, our education and or training, etc. It is quite a challenge to live in the concept that there is only ‘now.’ 

I thought of Ram Das and his book “Be Here Now,” which came out in 1971. He wanted us to focus on the present moment and fully engage with whatever we were doing. Dass believed that by doing so, we could experience a deeper sense of peace and fulfillment.

In 1997, Eckhart Tolle wrote “The Power of Now” which teaches the importance of living in the present moment to achieve a more fulfilling life.

My go-to book, A Course in Miracles, 1976, reminds us to stay in the present moment. It is interesting that something so simple should seem so challenging. Love is now. It’s not in the future because the future is unreal. It’s not in the past because the past does not exist. Only Love is real, and Love is now.

This thought of Who Would I Be in the Now came about when I received a good dressing down from someone very dear to me who comes from their intellect and does not appreciate where my consciousness leads me. “You sound like a Jehovah’s Witness, just wearing a different suit. Stop proselytizing.” This statement really caught my attention.

I took this to heart – I did not take the anger and vehemence personally. This person was clear that there was no desire to engage in anything beyond scientific proof, not speculation.

I recognize that here is one powerful teacher. I was being lectured and I heard the passion, the anger. Through my many decades of studying ACIM, I have learned that an attack is always a call for love. 

This person was totally validated in what was being said. I remained silent. I apologized and thanked this person for sharing their feelings with me, and said I would give this a lot of thought.

I had to give a lot of thought to my intention and purpose in sharing what I know, even though they had made it clear in the past that they did not wish to hear this kind of conversation again. They did not ask or invite me to share my “proselytizing.” 

Interesting word.

I do have a question that does not have a ready answer. The question has to do with who we are.

As we go through our day, we will hear thoughts and we will act on some of those thoughts. We will get an idea, and that will lead to some action, and then we will hear ourselves (if anyone asks) repeating a story about who we are, and what we’ve done, what our past is. And, that will include our opinions and our beliefs. And, all things considered, we can get pretty busy just doing our life, reacting to things, following our thoughts with actions, feeling what we feel.

My question is, “Who would I be if I were none of those things?” “Who would I be without those thoughts?” “Who would I be without my story, without my history of how I got here?” “Who would I be were I not doing what I do (what would I identify with)?” “Who would I be if I remained in the ‘Now’?”

If we let ourselves stay present to that question, we will lose some of our identity in our thoughts, actions, beliefs, and stories.

One of the things I have learned to do over the years is to begin to witness myself.

If we can come from that place as witnesses, let ourselves just be aware of all these things—the awareness of our judgments, the awareness of our story, the awareness of our feelings, the awareness of our identity. Just reside in that.

Let ourselves just be. Disengage from all of our beliefs. Just be aware that we have them, we see them, and we feel them. But more and more, be ‘awareness’ itself and see what that feels like. Notice what happens.

Notice how all these other things take their place inside of our awareness. And, they lose their significance. They lose their importance. They lose their dominance– and can be seen for what they are.

“Who would I be if I weren’t my story?” “Who would I be if I weren’t these thoughts?” “Who would I be if I weren’t my feelings?” “Who would I be if I weren’t my body?” “If I weren’t all my memories, who would I be?”

I think we will realize that we will not disappear. They do not represent the sum total of ‘me.’ Who we are subsumes all of these things … with love.

They don’t need to be made wrong. They just need to know their place. Who we are allows for all of it. And, that’s our choice. That was what I was missing – “They just need to know their place.” The lightbulb went on bright and crystal clear.

You can identify with any one of these things or all of them. But, we can also identify with existence itself, with awareness itself, and let ourselves be that … lovingly.

To the outside observer, nothing has changed. But, our experience will be quite different.

Just leave that question open. “Who would I be?” “Who would I be without all of these things that I’m so closely attached to?” And, stay present to that.

Inside that awareness is everything we seek. It is the goal of all our actions, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs—just awareness itself.

Notice how you feel when you release those things and let yourself be aware. From that place, it’s only natural that we would love all of it because… it’s all ‘you.’ But it’s not your identity. Rest in your awareness. 

Just be in the ‘NOW.’ Something that simple requires constant practice, constant awareness that only ‘now’ is for real…and yet it is still all illusion.


  • Sandra Bradley

    Former Radio & TV host ‘Beyond Reason.’ Published writer & artist. Psychotherapist specializing in Regression Therapy, Soul Blueprint, Spiritual Mentoring, Healing, and whatever is needed 'in' the moment. Vipassana practitioner, student/teacher of A Course in Miracles since the 1980s. Sandra shares the reality of Quantum Physics & Quantum Entanglement in Metaphysical terms with those who wish to 'remember.'

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